photo by Brett Gurewitz
How did you and your partner meet, Christina? How long have you been together? When did you know he/she was "the one?"
This is not exactly a simple question! We met several times over about 15 years before we actually started dating. Back in the 90's, we met at a mutual friends' birthday party (Jorjee Douglass...another Hello Giggles writer!!)...but Patty doesn't remember! We met again in about 2000, I was freshly broken up from a long term relationship and Patty was dating someone else...She was actually moving into a house with her girlfriend and their room-mate was a really good friend of mine...so I was over at their house all the time. I had a HUGE crush on her, but couldn't really act on it, since she was taken.
We kept in touch over the years, but it wasn't until early 2005 that we really started hanging out again. She had just ended a relationship, but I thought she had a girlfriend...so we hung out a lot, but I never considered our outings "dates" since I thought she was taken. Then at the end of the summer, once I realized was broken up with her girlfriend, we went to a music fair, the Sunset Junction, in our neighborhood...and that was our first date.
We got married three years later, on the anniversary of our first date, August 30, 2010. (Here's a link to our wedding on Snippet & Ink). It was legal in California to get married for a short time, and we got married in that window! The news of prop 8 being overturned is just in time for Valentines Day! Hopefully soon everyone can marry the one they love...
I knew she was the one from the moment I met her...I was patiently waiting for over 10 years!
photo by Chris Strother
What's a typical weekend like for the two of you? How about a date night?
Now that we have a 16 month old daughter, weekends revolve around her and family activities....we love going to fun places around Los Angeles like Kidspace, Descanso Gardens, Drum Circle at Remo, and we usually spend every Saturday morning at the Silver Lake Farmers Market near our house.
Honestly...we haven't had a proper date night since Beatrice has been born! But we're working on it. We really just want to go out to dinner or maybe a movie, so daring!
photo by Ana Grillo
What makes your relationship work? Or in other words, what's your secret to a long-term, loving relationship? Any advice?
Acceptance, patience, communication, community, focusing on what's really important and HUMOR---a few things that make our relationship work!
Acceptance of each other's quirks and imperfections...we both know that we are only human and that we are going to make mistakes.
Patience, especially now with our daughter is so important. Jeez...we've been patiently waiting for a date night for over a year now! But when I'm tempted to rush something before it's time, I remember that everything will work itself out in time.
Communication of our needs and our desires...we really are both committed to communicating to each other if an issue arises. Sometimes it's not easy, but it's always worth it.
Community is so important to us...our friends and our support system are crucial. We want Beatrice to be surrounded by love...we have an amazing village that has helped us with our wedding, when Beatrice was born and with all our creative endeavors. It's so important to us to be active in our community and to support our friends and family as well...We have so much to be grateful for and we want to share our gifts and our abundance with others...from volunteering on Thanksgiving to participating in charity events like Pablove (a charity fighting childhood cancer with love run by our dear friends)...all of that helps us have a strong relationship with each other as a family and builds bonds in our community.
"How important is it?" I ask myself that question when I'm tempted to get upset with Patty about a household chore that hasn't been done. Really focusing on the important things in life like our family, community and spending time with Beatrice help avoid squabbles over trivial things. The dishes will get done eventually (patience!)...
And above all: HUMOR...we love to laugh and have a good time. Laughter is really the best medicine...Patty and I have shared so many laughs over the years...seeing her smile always makes my heart melt. And seeing Beatrice laugh and smile is the most amazing gift.
When I think about the "secret" to a long term relationship for us, I think about our family. We really want to instill these values in our daughter, and we want her to see the beauty and lightness in the world. We want our relationship to serve as an example to her: two people who love and respect each other and live life to the fullest....
photo by Planet Swan