Dear Henry

Dear Henry,

My big boy. You are almost 19 months now and at times I can't even believe that to be true. To me you are still that tiny baby in my arms, being rocked and rocked to sleep every night (I think you'll always be that baby to me). In reality though, that baby is gone, and here you are, in all of your boyish silliness, your wildness, your crazy hair and happy laughter. You run and jump and play until you can't run or jump or play anymore, and your little voice rings through the house whenever you're awake.

You are a ball of energy, the biggest bear hug, and the sweetest nuzzle into my neck. You talk all of the time, and every single day you seem to pick up a new word. You love to play with Madeline (Madddddieee!), you love to yell for your Daddy first thing in the morning (Dadadadadadaaa!) and you reserve your wettest kisses for your mama, throwing your arms up and around my neck, your legs hooking on either side of my body.

At 19 months old you are a bookworm. We read all day and every night we read a minimum of 3 books before bed. If we skip one, you know. You're happiest snuggled up on one of our laps, and when we ask if you're ready for bed, you always say "no" in the softest little voice.

Henry, it's hard to even put into words how much you have brought to our lives. Your Dad and I often talk about how interesting it is to have such a marker of before and after. We thought life was great before, but you have made it even better, somehow. Now as we watch you grow more and more everyday into the little boy you will become, it's amazing to see your personality develop. You are kind and caring, funny and smart. You're stubborn and have a fiery temper like your mama but you also have the sweetest, calmest energy about you, like your papa.

As we move into the second half of your second year, it's exciting to think about you turning two in the fall, and being able to communicate even more. I anxiously await the day you'll say "I love you too, Mommy" as I shut off your light before bed, but for now my heart still happy-aches at that tiny smile across your face as you blow me a kiss and say "nigh nigh."

I love you, sweet Henry!

Love,
Mama

Dear Henry,

Dear Henry,

I am writing this to you while I wait for you to settle back down in your crib for your afternoon nap. Thanks to this video monitor I have propped up next to me I am able to watch you go from lying down, to sitting, to jumping up and down in your crib, and then back to sitting. I'm hoping the next step, you silly boy, is finally falling asleep. And the whole jumping in your crib thing? This is new and something you discovered only last week, along with a million other things you've discovered over the past few days. You're 14 months old now and I feel like now, more than ever, you are growing at an exponential rate. Each morning you talk a little more, walk (run!) a little faster, and and with each of those words and steps, you are changing from our little baby into a toddler.

These past 14 months have absolutely flown by. You don't know how many times during the day I wish so badly I could just stop time for even a moment so I could focus on taking it all in. Last night you ran over to me and gave me the biggest hug, "mamamamama," tiny arms reaching around me, your head pressed into my neck. You wouldn't let go. I flashed back to when you were the tiniest baby and I remember thinking that it couldn't possible get any better than right now. But that right now came and went, and a million more right nows happened, each one a little better than the last. So I'll say it again, as I watch you finally settle down to sleep, I can't imagine it could get any better than this, right here, right now.

But in an hour or two when you wake up, and I open the door to your wild bed head and that big goofy grin, it will already be better. I feel so grateful to live this life with you, I feel so lucky to be your Mom and to spend everyday with that sunshine smile of yours.

I love you Henry!

Mama

Dear Henry,

This past year has been, without a doubt, the very best year of my entire life. I've learned so much, and it's gone behind just figuring out this new role. I feel like I've really come into myself, figured out my purpose, and became who I was supposed to be all along. It's been the craziest, yet most fulfilling journey I could ever be on, and I am so thankful for each step of the way, from the sleepless nights spent rocking you back to sleep, to the early mornings full of baby laughs and cuddles.

People say that a baby changes everything. And it really does. It's changed the way I see the world. Now, instead of thinking of myself, I think of you. Instead of getting caught up in inconsequential things, being your Mom has allowed me to see the bigger picture, because really, you are the truest reminder of what really matters. Every single morning I wake up with a thankful heart. I am so grateful to be able to stay home with you and spend each day exploring, growing, and learning by your side, but most of all, I am just thankful to be your mama.

I read somewhere that a certain culture believes that the baby chooses its mother before he or she is born. That the baby knows how much its parents need him, and arrives in order to teach them all the ways of the world. I like that. One year ago today our life changed for the better, and that was all because of you. Sure, our role is to teach you everything we can, but I often think that you are teaching us far more than we could have every imagined.

Today, on your first birthday, I sit here typing as you push your cars around the kitchen, stopping to laugh at Madeline and marvel at the funny sounds the wheels make. It's hard to believe that a year ago today, almost to the minute, you arrived. That moment is a distinct marker in our life- a true defining moment. Your Dad and I grew from the two of us, to a family of three on that perfect morning, and I am so thankful for that day, for you, and for every bit of joy you've brought into our lives.

We love you so much Henry. Happy first birthday!

Love,
Mama

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If you'd like, you can read Henry's birth story, his birthday one year ago in photos, or more of my Dear Henry letters too.  His one-year checkup is next week, so I'll be sharing his 12-month update then, along with a look at all of his monthly photos.

Below is the video of Henry's first year that I showed at his birthday party this past Saturday (there's an option to view it larger too). Enjoy, and thank you all so very much for being such a special part of our life and specifically this past year, through this little blog. It's so neat to have you along for the ride!